Nette Life

As human beings, I think we are naturally hoarders. We tend to hang on to things be they material things or intangible things like relationships. People we love, for instance, we like to keep them close and we like to keep them forever. But, as life is wont to do, it never acts the way you want it to. So ‘things’ happen and we lose our stuff. We lose our friends and people we love. That’s just the way life is.

Life is also how we deal with those loses. Cry our eyes out, sure. Suffer the heart ache, sure. But never, never should our loses stop us. Just as we learn as kids to get up after a fall, we pick ourselves up, dust off our bottoms and dry up our tears and keep going.

There are people who like send offs. You know the type, they love taking people to the airport or bus stations, they love retirement parties and going away parties. Some actually even like funerals, the ultimate good bye party.

Not me. I dread goodbyes and even avoid them when I can. I have two nieces, 4 and 5 years old who will not say good bye. They ignore any attempts to say goodbye because they think that if you don’t give the good bye hug or kiss, the person somehow will not go away. I’m kind of the same way, although my reasons are different, ultimately, I guess they are the same.

For me, goodbyes are awkward. I don’t ever know what to say or I’m afraid I’d get too emotional. So, I make them as lighthearted or as off hand as possible. As in, “I’ll see you soon!” to someone whom I know I won’t be seeing for a very long time. “Drive safe!” when I should say I wish he wasn’t going and I’m going to miss him terribly. “Have a great time!” when what I really want to say is, I wish I was going instead of you or I wish I was going with you.

When you know someone is going away permanently, is there a gracious way to say goodbye? Is there a way to encapsulate the life time of “should have saids” in a moment? No, I can answer that there isn’t a way.

I wish I could have been more forthcoming with how I felt and with my appreciation for every person in my life. Why was it so difficult to just say I love you, I admire you, I appreciate you? Why did it take me so long to learn this and am still having difficulty with expressing my appreciation? What made me this way? I always wonder…

But, there is time to learn and that’s partly what this blog is about. This is just me, thinking out loud.

I went home early yesterday because I was feeling a little run down from this cold and so I was able to watch Ellen then Oprah. What a treat! I don’t ever watch Oprah when it comes on since I’m usually at work at that time. If I happen to be up at 1 a.m. when the re-run comes on, then that’s the only time I watch the show.

Anyway, yesterday, they were talking about things that we dare live without. They featured two families who have been living a wasteful lifestyle and dared them to give up their splurges and luxuries for a week.
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I’m sure you’ve heard of Randy Paush. He’s been featured on tv shows and the YouTube video of his going away speech has been making the rounds on the internet for a few months now. He was recently featured on 20/20 or one of those magazine shows and I was again reminded how touched I was when I first watched the video and let his message sink in.

The message is really simple. I wonder why more of us don’t realize it earlier. Most of us probably won’t get see life with the same clarity until we are given a death sentence. But while Randy Paush has been given that deadline, I think he’s been clear on his idea of how to live life long before he got the bad news.

Listen closely to his advice on being a parent to your kids and nurturing that sense wonder in them and maybe awaken it in ourselves.

I like finding inspirational messages like this because it reminds me to get off my lazy butt and start living life fully.